Best way to make your child understand the right method to do
“Don’t jump on the couch”, “don’t go so fast”, “don’t play with the ball at home” or “don’t touch that”. How many times have we used these or other similar phrases with the little ones at home?
We use them when we want to correct children’s behavior and avoid behaviors that are inappropriate or that can harm children. However, sometimes we are not aware that, by limiting the freedom of the little ones, we reduce their options and leave them without knowing how to act in these types of situations.
It is important to keep in mind that children learn to behave by imitating adults and following their orders. For this reason, when they are small they have a limited range of possibilities, which will expand as they grow.
Therefore, if we want to educate children to become free and self-determined people, it is not enough to correct their behavior by telling them “that is not done”, but we must also explain to them why it is not right to do so and, above all, give them other options.
Educate children instead of limiting their freedom
In the attempt to educate children well, many parents make the mistake of correcting children’s behavior by using “no”. In this way, phrases like “don’t do it again” or “it’s not right for you to do that” becomes the daily bread.
However, this constant negative can leave a deep imprint on the child’s brain, causing them to develop a pessimistic mentality that ends up limiting their future life.
Instead, we should teach them a more positive and open attitude that encourages children to decide how they should behave.
Obviously, this does not mean that it is not necessary to place limits on children as they grow up. Clear limits guide them the way while teaching them to follow the rules and adapt to the society in which they live.
However, these limits should never hinder their right to express themselves as they are. We should not try to educate children in our image and likeness. It is important to keep in mind that each child is unique, so we must be able to identify their potential, needs, and dreams, to help them become authentic and independent people.
Ultimately, each child must develop their own way of doing things and our mission as parents is to help them find their way, not to impose one or another way of doing or thinking.
Therefore, even if you show them what is right or wrong, you should let their own inner voice tell them how they should behave on a daily basis. In this way, you will be educating free people, capable of expressing their feelings assertively, thinking for themselves, and setting their own goals.
Keys to educating children well without limiting their freedom
Educating children and teaching them what they should or should not do is essential for them to become responsible people, learn to follow the rules, and be able to insert themselves into society.
Correcting their behavior when they do something wrong is not exactly negative since it teaches them what they can and cannot do. However, when “no” becomes a daily word and we do not leave children room to express themselves, we are restricting their freedom.
To prevent this from happening, it is important to go one step further and explain to them why their behavior is not appropriate, how it could be improved and what other options exist.
Basically, it is about guiding children on the right path, giving them the freedom to choose the best alternative for them. Here are some practical tips that can help you.
1. Set clear limits
It is important for children to understand exactly what is expected of them and how they should behave in each situation. In this case, establishing a few limits that are clear and specific is essential to teach them what they should or should not do.
Of course, it is not enough to impose these limits on them, it is essential to explain to them in simple language and according to their age why they should follow those rules.
For example, instead of saying, “Don’t go down the stairs,” you can tell them, “Don’t go down the stairs alone as you may fall and hurt yourself. When you want to go down, let me know and I’ll help you “.
2. Always offer them an explanation
Children have a limited cognitive capacity that prevents them from understanding many things in their environment. However, in order to learn and understand the world, they live in, they need to understand why things are a certain way and not another.
Thus, they can make a logical sense of what is happening around them. Therefore, when setting limits on children or asking them not to do something, always explain your reasons. If at that moment you cannot do it, explain the reasons as soon as you have the opportunity.
For example, instead of saying, “Don’t jump on the couch,” you can explain, “Don’t jump on the couch because you might hurt yourself or the couch might break. It is important to take care of the things we have at home because they are part of our lives”.
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3. Give them other alternatives
When we tell children that they shouldn’t do something, they can feel disoriented and not know how to behave in that type of situation. To prevent this from happening, it is important to always offer them other alternatives so that they can decide what to do instead.
In this way, you will be giving them the opportunity to choose other options, an excellent exercise to strengthen their self-esteem and stimulate their self-determination.
For example, instead of telling children: “Don’t play with the ball at home”, you can suggest other solutions: “Please don’t play with the ball at home. You can go out on the terrace or if you prefer when it’s over we can go to the park and play there. Do you think it’s OK?”.
Finally, remember that children also need to be heard. Therefore, whenever possible, ask them what they think about it and listen to what they have to say. Be open to modifying the limits and rules in the house, if necessary.
In this way, you will be transmitted to the children the message that their opinion is also important and they will feel more understood.
————————————————————————————————————————————– Author Bio
Best way to make your child understand the right method to do
Name – Archana Agarwal
Bio – Archana Agarwal is a Postgraduate in International Management from the University of Strathclyde, Scotland, an Entrepreneur, a proud mother to a 7-year-old, and Founder- CEO of Aark Learnings a leading online education platform that provides skill-based holistic education and online coding classes for kids which help in their growth and overall development.